Whatever He plans for you to be

Lately I've been having a lot of thought as to what I career path I should take after college. This is really quite weird for me especially because for about 17 years, all I wanted do be was a doctor. Through different health related problems that my mom went through when I was young, I was determined to become a doctor so that no one else would have to go through the same problems. Even having someone in the family with those issues can be extremely heart breaking. However, lately I've had a lot of different thoughts about becoming a doctor. What if after 10 extra years of studying, fellowships, internships, etc, I decide that it's not the path for me? What if I decide that I'm not going to be happy for the rest of my life after taking that job? I can't get the TRUE experience of being a doctor until I fully become one right? I mean a lot of people say shadow, intern, volunteer, etc, but that can only take you so far. Trust me, I've done quite a few of those. That's why I've been looking at a lot of different careers that I know would make me happy because it truly makes me happy now.

I spoke with my mom several times about this issue and she always tells me that she's happy with whatever I decide. She just wants to make sure that whatever career path I decide to follow, it'll make me happy to have followed it. A few days ago, I spoke with her again about this issue and was mentioning how becoming a vet is another career choice that I would really like to consider as well as being a performer or something in the entertainment industry like a radio broadcaster or a TV producer. I shared with her about things that she already knew so well such as my love for animals and my love to be in the spotlight on stage but also complained to her about the uncertainties I have. She just listened for a long while and once again said 'Whatever makes you happy, will make me happy'. 'UGH mom.. you're not helping me at all right now.. I wanted your advice!'. That's when she told me- ' instead of asking me for advice, did you ask Him for advice? Stop thinking I should do this or that because it'll fill my heart and soul or make the ones around me happy. Pray and speak with God about what He has PLANNED for you. If you don't listen and shut Him out because of your selfish desires, you might not be truly happy in the end.'

I've spoke with my friends at school about this matter several times in the past, telling them that I will not be able to accept it if what He has planned for me isn't what I want. However after that talk, I've realized that what I want doesn't really matter and it never has. The true happiness and joy will never fill me as a whole if I follow my earthly ways of being what "I want to be". The true happiness and joy will come with whatever He plans for me to be...