My mind has been everywhere lately. Every time I'm alone, I have a million things going through my head and each of them makes me more unsure and anxious. Perhaps this is a sign for me to have a stronger focus on God. However, as a insecure and dumb human being, I feel pretty lonely down here. It's funny because I can be surrounded by groups of people that I would consider my closest friends, but I still have moments of anxiety and nervousness.
I often think about everything that's going on in my personal life as well as in my family. Then I picture the world as I want it to be... Then, soon, I realize that days are passing by and those dreamt up moments only happen in my imagination.... Every night I want to be comforted. I don't mean it in a 'I want a boyfriend' kind of way. I just want to be comforted by Him. Although I desperately reach out, I don't always find Him near. As my grandma recently told me, I am always in His arms, but am too distracted and confused to realize it.
I wish the world would stand still for a moment and all I have to think about are happy memories. Those memories that happened when I was too naive to care about other things. The ones shared with the people that I once thought cared...
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