Sin hurts

Touched me today:

Sin Hurts

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April 22, 2011 — by Julie Ackerman Link

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Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn

Read: Hebrews 2:10-18

He poured out His soul unto death, and He was numbered with the transgressors, and He bore the sin of many. —Isaiah 53:12

Bible in a year:
2 Samuel 14-15; Luke 17:1-19

Sooner or later we all feel the painful effects of sin. Sometimes it’s the weight of our own sin and the shame and embarrassment of having failed miserably. At other times, it’s the load of someone else’s sin that weighs us down—someone who betrayed, deceived, abandoned, ridiculed, cheated, or made a fool of us.

Think about a time when the weight of that guilt or pain was so heavy that you couldn’t pull yourself out of bed. Now try to imagine the heaviness of the combined grief that everyone’s sin has caused your family, your church, your neighborhood. Add to that all the suffering sin has caused everyone in your city, state, nation, and the world. Now try to imagine the accumulated grief that sin has caused throughout the centuries since creation.

Is it any wonder that the weight of all this sin began squeezing the life out of Jesus on the night He was called to bear it? (Matt. 26:36-44). The next day, even His beloved Father would forsake Him. No other suffering can compare.

Sin put Jesus to the ultimate test. But His love endured it, His strength bore it, and His power overcame it. Thanks to Jesus’ death and resurrection, we know beyond a doubt that sin will not and cannot win.

Is God aloof from human pain
That ravages our mortal frame?
Oh, no, Christ felt our agony
When sin and death He overcame! —D. De Haan

Christ’s empty tomb guarantees our victory over sin and death.

Fish Bowl

Lately, I feel as though we're all fish living in a giant individual fish bowl. My friend once told me that gold fish are so stupid because they forget that they've been in the same fish bowl by the time they've swam around it. Therefore, they think that they're swimming in an open area.

In that sense, we do the same. We repeatedly swim around in circles trying to get to a place that we want to be in our lives. Well, at the same time God is like the gold fish owner. He looks down at us and laughs at are "cute little stupidity". Because in order for us to be at the place we want to be at (in this case, the ocean), our "owner" would have to put us there. No matter how hard or how fast we swim, we are still unknowingly stuck in our own little fish bowl. We can take the smart and simple way and trust that God will put us where we need to be, or we can waste all of our energy and try to get there on our own.

I, more than anyone, have trouble with this concept. I get anxious about the future being uncertain and things not going the way I planned. I, like the fish, always end up where I started in terms of my emotions and thoughts. I even dislike putting all of my trust on "Someone". However, perhaps one day, I can teach myself to stop swimming around in circles. Perhaps one day I can prepare myself to swim forward in the ocean when He finally decides to put me there.

Habit

So I have quite a few really weird habits. One of those weird habits is that I have a tendency to pick at my skin around my finger nails. I usually do it so much that it's always red or scabby or bleeding.... I've done everything I can do get myself to stop (except for the stupid things like wearing gloves for a month straight etc) but it's still going on! It's so embarrassing especially when people ask me what happened to my fingers. Let's just hope that nobody thinks I have a weird skin disease or something! I don't even remember when it started except I think it started when I was about 5 or so? Apparently I just do it unconsciously throughout the day. Most of the time I find myself doing this is when I'm in a situation that I don't like (boring situations, frustrating situation, awkward situations.. you get the idea). However, I think it happens randomly as well.

After talking to several people (most of them unprofessional but some professional) about why this unusual habit of mine started and still exists, they all said a similar conclusion that I can't quite agree with. Apparently, this behavior usually starts in kids when they go through a bad time in life or are stressed out about something. It's apparently a way to blame themselves for the situation? BUT I can't really think of a time that I would consider a "BAD" time in my childhood. I mean maybe the fact that I didn't live with my parents for a while and other personal things that somewhat relates to that... but really? I don't think thats it? and if by some weird chance that's why I started, then why can't I stop now? How FRUSTRATING...

A Suicide Note

There was a girl named Kelly in my class at school. She was never the type to speak up but was also never afraid to speak her mind. Kelly always seemed so cheery and heart-warming. She was one of the nicest girls I've ever met. You know what I mean, not the "fake nice" kind but the "real nice" ones. Then one day around April I went to school and everyone was not their usual selves. The usually loud chatty people were quiet and the tough ones were crying. The teachers didn't make their rounds and some people were sobbing hysterically. I asked one of my friends what was going on. " You didn't hear? Kelly committed suicide last night..." was all she said.

I wouldn't say that I was good friends with Kelly, but at a small school like ours, everyone knew each other so well. We all basically grew up together you know? At that moment, I felt like the whole world wasn't as small as I thought it'd be. I felt much, much smaller. Everything around me seemed so out of my control and I panicked. I didn't know what to do. The principle made his announcement and offered counseling to those of us that were hit hard by the news. He also announced that all classes will be canceled for today and that we'd be able to go home. If this announcement was made in any other circumstances, we would have all cheered and left in a hurry. Today, however, everyone stood silently in their spots, not knowing what to do. I was one of the first ones to leave. I felt so confused that I needed the comfort of my bed.

When I got home, I changed into something comfortable and hopped into my bed. My parents were both working so I was alone for a while. The feeling was weird around. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or be angry and even wondered if this was all a dream. While my thoughts were all spinning in my head, I noticed that my computer was lit up. I walked over and was shocked to find an email sent by Kelly in my inbox. The subject read:

A Suicide Note:

To you,

Nothing made sense in my life anymore. I'm sick and tired of trying. Everyday I live in misery as I'm trying my best to put a smile on my face and act my cheerful self. It wears me out. Everyone always said I was beautiful, but all I could see was a fat ugly girl looking back at me in the mirror. Everyone always said I was smart, but all I could see was a dumb girl who couldn't even get a 100% on an exam. Everyone always said that I was talented, but every time I messed up, I only got back up on the outside and fell deeper on the inside. Now I've realized that everything is out of my hands and the world has abandoned me. Nobody cares or even wants to care...

I never wanted to go this way but the pain surrounding me is too much. Nothing has been going the way I planned. The pressure to do well has always been so hard to bare. Some of my friends who never seemed to care what I truly had to say or how I truly felt, I apologize to you guys for taking up your time with my complaints. And to people like you, who wasn't really a close friend to me but has always taken the time to listen to everything I had to say, I thank you. Tell my parents that I loved them. Tell my friends that I'll miss them. But I know that I've made the right decision in the end.

Kelly